This week in Avant Gard Procedural Art class I  was introduced by our Professor Marina Zurkov to the surrealist technique of automatic drawing. I loved the idea of drawing without seeing the paper, as you arrange your canvas, and then use a blindfold and start drawing whatever you see. I thought about my thesis and just drew very associatively.

After drawing I thought again about my goals, I had another associative moment only in writing –

My goal is to create an experience which would be place/object specific. Through the experience I want to convey thoughts/ pondering or maybe understand better relationships, how we come about, how we “see” it forming. why do we give form to everything? can we make more space in our busy lives? what are the things around us that are formless, that we can notice and observe without judgment? what are those roles we’re playing, why are we playing them? why are we so attached to stories? when we really listen, or take in other’s stories, is it when we empathize? Is practicing empathy, takes us to the now?

My questions might be unanswerable – with formless answers, how do we ignite intimacy? does intimacy hold the present? what is the connection between intimacy and empathy?

what is the human goal as a whole?

I would like to a create moments of reflections, on being, on connection to other people and the world. To direct attention to the shared space, and the life we live. To shrink down the distance made by thoughts, and categorization and blend it all into an undefined intimate, warm and encompassing space.

In some sense I want to create an imagined world, where people are not people anymore, they are beings sharing the space, being the space. Maybe take a path from sharing of personal storytelling to another soundscape that is known to all; water, wind, city traffic, horse riding/ steps.

somewhere in between sounds, there is silence. I want to have the body feeling of coming from within, to merge with the outside.

Form it might take – putting on hair – a wig with beads. inside the wig, maybe vibration motors vibrating to wake you up with a phone call, reminding you the world is in and out of you. that vibrations are everything.

I want to create a sci-fi looking set/ costumes/ accessories that shake you into the dimension within. releasing any tension, maybe after bringing all the tension, like when we start meditation and we squeeze all the muscles in the face, make fists and then release.

I want to make a little journey between in and out of the body, between feeling, sensing, perceiving, analyzing and then boom. then something like zero. something like nothing – quiet.

Meshing real documentary stories into a narrative in first person, following this stream of consciousness but making some vague sense, at the same time, very emotional very intense some animal sounds as well.